I can't be both empathetic and apathetic at the same time.
This Reese's Cup coffee creamer is weird.
Not having a decent spoon at the office for eating beef stew. The plastic ones we have go all meltedy.
When I'm listening to Spotify at the front desk and a Vagasil commercial comes on.
AIR CONDITIONING IN JANUARY
When an air freshener is advertised as a nice autumnal apple spice scent but it smells more like urinal cake.
When someone asks for my opinion and then argues against my answer.
Skudd is really grumpy before lunch.
Forgetting to verb a sentence.
When you're listening to an album on Spotify and the song is supposed to blend right into the next one, but it gets interrupted by ads.
the weird flaky bits that always litter the top of our copier display
I have yet to find a cough suppressant or decongestant that really works.
That commercial with a lady slowly eating a Lindor truffle.
That moment when you realize too late that the toilet seat was wet.
My feet in these shoes look like the ugly stepsisters trying on Cinderella's slipper.
"guac" and "parm"
"Let's Dance" by Chris Montez
The Delta guy keeps leaving his laptop open, unlocked, and unattended in the hallway while he's working in the switch closet.
People who cook eggs in the office.
"Your new notifications are now sorted to help you see what's most important to you."
"Trunk or treat" doesn't make any sense.